KANYE ASADA
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THE MENU

A curated selection of experiences.

The Graduation

$312

Our signature carne asada, aged 47 days in a custom humidity chamber we built in a garage. Served on a single tortilla, folded exactly once.


808s & Heartburns

$248

Carolina reaper-infused asada. You will cry. That is the point. Served with a handwritten apology note.


The Life of Pablano

$189

Slow-roasted poblano peppers stuffed with asada and existential dread. Pairs well with introspection.


My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasia

$1,400 per person

Our seven-course tasting experience. Each course is served in complete darkness. You will not know what you are eating. Trust the process.


Yeezus Crisp

$275

Charred beyond recognition. On purpose. Art is not always comfortable.


Late Registration

$500

For guests who arrive after 8pm. It is the same asada but we charge more because you were late.


Donda's Kitchen

$780

A family-style platter. Feeds 4-6 people or 1 person who believes in themselves.

Prices do not include the 22% 'genius surcharge.' Substitutions are a sign of weakness.

KANYE ASADA EST. 2026
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This is not a real restaurant. But it should be.